Hypothetical: Tofu At The Broccoli Court

The twelvemonth is 2018 as well as President Tofu is fortunate to receive got a bulk inwards both houses of Congress. America elected President Tofu when it became weary of partisan politics as well as developed a gustation for a President with no preconceived notions as well as fully capable of absorbing the flavors of whatever surrounds him at the moment; a pragmatic, businesslike President for tough as well as fast-changing times. American minor businesses are however hurting from the lingering effects of the Great Recession, but its larger bastions of concern savvy are thriving inwards a booming global economic scheme bringing inexpensive products to the impoverished masses armed with $5 prison theatre cellphone phones, $10 netbooks as well as empowered yesteryear a Khan universal didactics organisation (the other Khan, non Genghis).

Many Americans are equally good benefiting from this expansion inwards some ways. For example, later the 2016 passage of the historical as well as liberating Student Protection as well as Affordable Education Act (SPAEA), many parents decided to accept reward of the Khan system, at nowadays owned as well as selflessly maintained yesteryear Google, as well as utilisation the Government Education Voucher (GEV, pronounced give), minus the $15 for a prison theatre cellphone telephone as well as netbook for each child, to pay for the mandated wellness insurance punishment of 2010, so breaking fifty-fifty on kid mandates. This tendency caught on similar wildfire later some knucklehead libertarian tweet went viral on every social media outlet practically overnight, equally a suggested stair out to counteract the Constitutional, but however unpopular private mandate to purchase wellness insurance.

America’s Health Insurance Plans (AHIP) did non accept rattling kindly to this pop trend, since near folks buying wellness insurance from the States Health were at nowadays either elderly or sick. It should endure noted that the other 3 wellness insurance providers, Liberty Health which insures elected world servants, Glamour Health which insures near sports as well as amusement personalities as well as the Health Division of Goldman Sachs which provides discrete insurance to manufacture captains, were non affected yesteryear this phenomena, express to some sectors of the currently or previously wage earning class. Most workers though, were provided wellness insurance through self-funded multi-national employers, equally purpose of their wages. Unlike the misguided Liberal authorities of Mexico, who struck downwards inwards 2012 an early attempt yesteryear Walmart to pay their Mexican employees with shop vouchers, the pragmatic direction of President Tofu, welcomed the concern oriented solution of paying American workers with vouchers for the companionship wellness insurance store.

Seeing how yesteryear Definition President Tofu flora himself inwards unopen proximity to the States Health executives, some since early on childhood, he absorbed the hurting as well as suffering caused to this worthy corporate citizen as well as decided that something must endure done to ensure that elderly as well as sick Americans tin afford the States Health premiums as well as Khan Academy freeloaders don’t dump their wellness attention costs on the remainder of society. There were several options for President Tofu as well as his administration. He could receive got mandated that GEV should endure spent at ane of the few private prep schools, but that would impose undue burden on those brilliantly elite institutions of education, who were equally good rattling or as well as so President Tofu’s heart. He could receive got mandated that all Americans non otherwise covered yesteryear wellness insurance, must purchase insurance from the States Health at the ongoing premium rates, but some lesser representatives inwards his Party were deeply concerned with backlash from voters inwards the upcoming midterm elections, as well as President Tofu equally unopen equally he was with his colleagues, right away absorbed their hurting equally well. Luckily at that spot was some other agency out of this impasse.

In the summertime of 2018, the landmark Life Protection as well as Perpetual Health Act (LPPHA) was passed inwards both houses with crushing bi-partisan support, as well as signed yesteryear the always grin President Tofu into law. Americans were rattling happy with this legislation, since all media outlets were running headlines informing the people that Congress inwards its wisdom is at nowadays guaranteeing wellness as well as long life for every American yesteryear 2020. For the skeptical 2012 audience, no, President Tofu was non miraculously transformed into a futuristic Indiana Jones marching out of the crumbling ancient temple with the magic challis inwards his raised hands, but science, peculiarly statistical analytics, has advanced to novel heights inwards 2018, partially fueled yesteryear Khan Academy graduates.

H5N1 RAND firm written report conducted inwards Dec 2017, at the behest of a global retail manufacture giant, clearly showed that Americans employed yesteryear multi-national corporations are healthier as well as projected to receive got a much longer lineament adjusted life expectancy than their peers who were non paid with companionship shop vouchers. After careful adjustments of all measures designed to infer worker wellness condition from corporate economical indicators, RAND concluded that multi-national workers as well as their dependents receive got a whopping 92 lineament adjusted life years expectancy, so leaving all OECD Socialized medicine countries inwards the dust. Other than using innovative written report measures, clearly the multi-national corporations receive got identified the hole-and-corner sauce to long life as well as perpetual health. In a follow-up written report commissioned yesteryear AHIP, RAND identified the preventive wellness measures taken yesteryear self-funded employers equally the indisputable travail for the longevity as well as fantabulous wellness of their charges.

Thus the LPPHA contained several provisions to spread the wellness with the remainder of the Nation, which would dramatically cut the States Health costs as well as significantly incorporate taxpayer expenses for those who chose the 2012 punishment over buying wellness insurance. At the view of the LPPHA (or PHA, pronounced phe or F), was a mandate for all citizens to purchase trunk weight, physical action as well as happiness monitors, sold as well as administered yesteryear the firm insuring their health. Since, near citizens insured yesteryear multi-nationals were already purchasing those monitors at the companionship store, equally required yesteryear their employer, as well as since workers’ pathetic wellness clearly affects Commerce, as well as since all Commerce at nowadays is at to the lowest degree interstate Commerce, this seemed to endure a rattling logical provision as well as its benefits to the millions of sedentary, overweight as well as demoralized Americans were self-evident. Hence the monitoring mandate gained enormous world support, according to the media. Of course, the Government would render subsidies to those who cannot afford to pay for their ain monitors, as well as monitors would endure gratis to households nether 200% FPL, which is actually near of the unmonitored citizenry. In monastic enjoin to uphold the monitoring mandate a clever punishment volition endure imposed, modeled later the large employer wellness insurance rules, where people with a larger than the approved Body Mass Index (BMI), and/or a smaller than indicated daily action level, and/or larger than normal depression quotient (as defined yesteryear the States Preventive Services Task Force), would receive got to pay a punishment proportional to their income levels. Exceptions as well as voluntary drug handling options are available for all categories.

For a fleeting instant later the beautiful ceremony of the LPPHA signing, yesteryear an evidently trim, check as well as happy President Tofu, at that spot were some thoughts inwards some former Liberal quarters that maybe the LPPHA is unconstitutional as well as should endure challenged inwards Court, but apprehensions died downwards chop-chop later experts read the 4562 pages of the statute as well as flora that the Federal Government is non forcing us to purchase broccoli. And America lived happily always after. The End.